Things Men Should Know

It’s Monday, at that means we are back to our Things Men Should Know segment.  Today’s topic:

How to Fart in Public and Get Away With It:

Face it, it happens to all of us: Men, women, children, babies, we all are faced with this discomfort from time to time.  If you are unable to escape to a private area, here are some pointers:

1. Move to the most crowded/most noisy area you can find.  This way if it’s loud, chances are there will be much less of a chance it is heard.  With the larger crowd of people, it almost makes it fun to start seeing people react and start blaming one another.

2. Be talking while you release your bomb.  If you’re mid conversation/making noises it distracts people, therefore leading them to think of someone else as the culprit.

3. Do not exit the area too quickly.  It is obvious when you walk through a crowd of people crop dusting the place like a wildebeest.  Be coy about it.  Sneak away, but do it candidly.

4. Make a game of it.  Start joking about who done it, blame children, be obviously hilarious and then maybe fess up.  At that point it’s funnier than anything.

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